I set out on my run tonight having been full of snot and a chesty cough for the last three days. So on a friends suggestion I had an app playing which was coaching me through my run, filling me with positive thoughts and giving me a chance to air my negative ones. It all sounds very airy fairy I know and I usually just have heavy metal blasting in my ears but without this positivity I probably would have turned around and came home.
It was just before I passed you that I’d ran up a big hill and had a 2 minute exercise from my virtual coach to get rid of all my negative thoughts about running. The things we say to ourselves are awful. When would you ever tell someone else or even think that someone else was not good enough for anything, not fit enough, was lazy, I won’t go on. In my ear I had this guy telling me I was doing amazing and I was a real runner because I was running. I pressed the start button tonight, I left the house and ran and I was still running. It was after this 2 minute exercise that I was approaching the top of the hill. I looked towards the pub thinking ‘I could really do with a cider’ I slowed down to cross the road and it was then that I heard you shout it.
‘RUN, FATTY RUN!’
You laughed harder than I’ve ever heard anyone laugh… at their own joke. The people with you laughed also, perhaps out of awkwardness perhaps because they actually thought that it was funny. I don’t know.
I do know that instead of being upset by your comment it actually made me so much more determined as well as a little angry. Who are you to judge me? And how many other women do you judge? What has my physical appearance got to do with you? Who are you?!?
Whilst you were standing there filling your lungs with smoke and your liver with alcohol you decided to judge me. A woman out on her own at night just running, minding my own business, breathing like Darth Vader, coughing like I had a 40 a day habit. But I was running. I’m running because I have money to raise for a charity very close to my heart. I was running because I want to be a better me. I was running because my daughter said to me today her goal for 2018 was to win a race ‘just like mommy did’. She is referring to the half marathon I did in 2016 whilst ten weeks pregnant. Which I have to point out I didn’t actually ‘win’. But to her I did, and to me I did, and to the charity that I raised over five hundred pounds for I did.
So to you Sir every step I take in that half marathon and every pound I raise for my charity I will think of you because if anything you’ve made me more determined than I was before!
Whilst we’re on the topic of fundraising though… Shameless plug!!
I know it’s January and no one has money in January but please remember me in pay day!!